The must disgusting fart sequence ever shot in a commercial film. Ten butts up!!!
I just want to say that baked garlic buds when ingested not only add decibel volume to your farts, but a high ranking stink as well. Does everyone know the proper way to bake them?
Dear Fartoholics:
I need your advice. A few weeks ago I drove over to Elm Street to pick up my girlfriend having eaten a whole mess of nachos with beans and a sort of peculiar tangy white cheese that may have been a little off. When I exited the car I made sure that the interior smelled okay by spraying some floral scent deodorizer. We started driving to the movie theater and suddenly my gut was attacked by some constrictions and the instant need for a toilet. I drove faster, trying unsuccessfully to hold in the farts, thinking there was no way I was going to make it. Then, sure enough, I encountered a traffic jam on Second Street. I honked my horn but nothing was moving. Ellen was looking at me peculiarly, scrunching up her nose. “What is that foul smell?” she asked. The traffic wasn’t moving. I spotted a shed next to an alleyway across the street. I had to go for it. I jumped out of the car, ran across the street, ducked into the shed, crapped my guts out, wiped my butt with my underpants, but I still needed more, lot’s of oily discharge, probably from the foul cheese, so I took off my socks and used them too. ( I threw them into the corner of the shed), ran back across the street, weird without underwear, I think I liked it, and jumped into the car panting with relief, just in time for the traffic to start moving. “Why did you leave me like that?” she asked. I couldn’t believe her selfish insensitivity but I said nothing. I tried to fart in her direction. but I had nothing left to crank. What would you have done in this situation?
Thanks,
Edward B. Drummond, Jr.
Tenafly, New Jersey